I have been thinking lately that I have an expiration date. I'm not just talking about the one that nature will impose upon me, I'm thinking more about the one I will impose upon myself.
1. If it takes me more than 4 tries to call you by the correct name.
2. When I'm looking through the obit's not just due to morbid curiousity, but to see if any of my friends aren't in it this week.
3. When any talk of nursing homes come up
4. When really old men want to date me - and not because they're perverts.
5. When all of my conversations are tied around: who died, who's dying, constipation and incontinence.
6. When I don't want to do it anymore, with anyone, not even Brad Pitt (or his younger replacement)
7. If I can't stand up straight, sit for long periods of time, or wouldn't qualify for Viagra.
8. When crazy no longer comes with an off switch.
9. When I drool whilst eating, drinking or talking - and alcohol is not involved.
10. Diapers, end of story.
*No offense intended towards the elderly; I am a big fan of old, aside from when we have to share the road.
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